I get that. It's not the same, but enough to ring a chord: my experience with being female was similarly about taking dominant narratives on board ("female things are Worse") and internalising it to hell, and it takes a lot to shake that kind of thing. (unrelated, but I now identify as genderqueer and it helps me a lot to have that distance from the issue - hopefully IDing as asexual can give you a similar distance)
But in the end, what people have taken issue with from you isn't that you're playing Bad Wrong Things that are Bad and Wrong. There are some people whose issue is that you're into vore/cannibalism, but those people aren't the majority. Most people's issue is that you were trying to play vore/cannibalism with them, when they'd said that they, personally, weren't comfortable with it. I'm saying this because it seems to be part of a larger pattern which, again, is very common in autistic folk: you're assuming that you're being condemned for doing a thing that's objectively wrong (playing violent stuff) but actually the issue is the context in which you did it. There are lots and lots of people who play scary/violent/horrific stuff, and mostly they aren't attacked for it - but that's because they make sure they're only doing it with people who also want to play that. Does this make sense? It's not that you played a Wrong Thing, it's that you played a controversial thing with the wrong people, and didn't take responsibility and pull away when they turned out not to be into it.
I know the sex/violence thing is probably coming up now in relation to me recommending F-List (which is why I said it might sound strange, but if you're not comfortable playing there, don't play there), but I wanted to unpack it a little because it's come up over on wankgate as well, and I noticed that you're framing it in a way that suggests you think people's problem is what you were playing, not how you went about it.
Anyway. I remember them quite fondly too, although looking back at my writing then makes my eyeballs want to crawl back inside my brain. Ugh. Teenage-Jormy, why were you like this?
I'm glad I commented here, actually. It's good to have talked to you again finally, you know? :)
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But in the end, what people have taken issue with from you isn't that you're playing Bad Wrong Things that are Bad and Wrong. There are some people whose issue is that you're into vore/cannibalism, but those people aren't the majority. Most people's issue is that you were trying to play vore/cannibalism with them, when they'd said that they, personally, weren't comfortable with it. I'm saying this because it seems to be part of a larger pattern which, again, is very common in autistic folk: you're assuming that you're being condemned for doing a thing that's objectively wrong (playing violent stuff) but actually the issue is the context in which you did it. There are lots and lots of people who play scary/violent/horrific stuff, and mostly they aren't attacked for it - but that's because they make sure they're only doing it with people who also want to play that. Does this make sense? It's not that you played a Wrong Thing, it's that you played a controversial thing with the wrong people, and didn't take responsibility and pull away when they turned out not to be into it.
I know the sex/violence thing is probably coming up now in relation to me recommending F-List (which is why I said it might sound strange, but if you're not comfortable playing there, don't play there), but I wanted to unpack it a little because it's come up over on wankgate as well, and I noticed that you're framing it in a way that suggests you think people's problem is what you were playing, not how you went about it.
Anyway. I remember them quite fondly too, although looking back at my writing then makes my eyeballs want to crawl back inside my brain. Ugh. Teenage-Jormy, why were you like this?
I'm glad I commented here, actually. It's good to have talked to you again finally, you know? :)