Dealing With The Bullies

[changelingchilde]

 So that went amazingly well, actually. I mean sure, I've spent the last ten fucking years keeping my head down online out of an irrational, depression-fueled fear that someone from here would come and GET ME for not being the best fucking roleplayer ever (along with, you know, school bullies and other unpleasant persons), but hey! I apologized to the bastards for not being perfect and I feel safer now. So that's nice.

And for the record? When I gave my therapist a quick summary of the last few days she gave me a hug and told me that everything would be alright, because she knows what all is going on in my life and why I needed it, so you can fuck right off now if my apology wasn't good enough for you.

Comments

[rumplesockskin]

why are you so cray cray my gurl?

[changelingchilde]

I have the answer in another post, but I keep locking it and unlocking it since I don't know if it's safe to be that personal.

[rumplesockskin]

ok then sexy mama llama.

[changelingchilde]

LOL

See, this I don't mind. It's people telling me to die that's the problem :)

[rumplesockskin]

you still cray tho

[changelingchilde]

LOL Duh

I have autism, bipolar disorder and tourette's just off the top of my head.

[rumplesockskin]

lol wow.

[changelingchilde]

And I'm currently in absolute terror that someone is going to finally get me kicked off this site for daring to explain myself in a way they don't like, after ten years of living in slow agony that the only things I ever enjoyed were being ruined by the people I was supposed to enjoy them with. I've sent in three support tickets over the last few days trying to get some to finally, finally make the bullying stop.

Should've done it years ago, really, but I've been depressed from when I was about 12 and only just came out of it.

[rumplesockskin]

or you can find another site to roleplay on like i did and then come back years later when everyone has forgotten about you and change your username handle and/or name. it's actually pretty easy.

and you obviously need to get out more if you are letting people from the internet that you will never see ever in your life get to you. time2touchgrass, my dude.

[changelingchilde]

I've been in the furthest corner of this site to get away from them, but then I had a manic episode, realized why all of this had happened (it's amazing how smart you can suddenly be in a manic episode) and randomly decided to try one last time to explain.

You can also be very good at self-sabotage in a manic episode LOL

[rumplesockskin]

eh, i wouldn't call it smart. it was pretty stupid. you should had went to a loved one or something during it and not come on the internet.

[changelingchilde]

Thus self-sabotage. It was smart to finally figure it all out, dumb to tell everybody.

Also my mom just got out of the hospital for thanksgiving and will be headed back in a day or two, my dad's been with her and I have no other family, so I didn't have anyone but a phone.

[rumplesockskin]

should probably go and make some friends.

[changelingchilde]

I have friends. What I don't have are things like a car. I'm on welfare for obvious reasons, and I'm too afraid of being responsible for getting into a car crash anyway.

[rumplesockskin]

... you dont need a car to go to your friends or talk to them on the phone? you can take a bus or a cab or they can come to you.

[changelingchilde]

I have a phobia of buses ever since the time in elementary school that the entire bus had to yell at the driver to tell him he was passing my grandma’s house without slowing down. It does not help that every other time I use a bus they lie to me about whether they’re going where I ask if they’re going.

Taxis cost money. I’m on disability money, as are my folks—which is pretty good where I live, but not enough for lots of taxi rides.

Most of my friends I know through local game stores. Not really visitable.

[changelingchilde]

Not only that, but I have been depressed enough since since I was about twelve that I had basically no curiosity. Which made it way more exciting and bewildering to wake up and realize that technology had marched on without me.

[rumplesockskin]

you just got an answer to everything don't you.

[changelingchilde]

Would you rather I didn't?